Manners are the grease of civilization

A few years ago, I was in a Ruby Tuesday in Farmington Hills just outside Detroit, and I was chatting with this nice lady at the bar as loners do.

She was African American, and she was telling me how her Dad used to make her whole family get in the car and drive to California from Michigan, a serious car trip that I wouldn't attempt with my kids, to see her relatives on the West coast.  Ugh.

Then she asked me, "Why are all Canadians so polite?".
Well that might be the stereotype and like with all stereotypes it might seem that way.  Here's a few Canadians that aren't so polite.

And to be fair, from my experiences in main street  Arizona, Utah, Oregon, Washington State, Washington DC, Virginia, Rhode Island, Michigan, Wisconsin,  and Wyoming, Montana, Hawaii, Florida, Maryland, Illinois, Nevada,... ok you get the idea I've been to a few states.

Frankly, most Americans are polite.  But some aren't polite in the Denny's on Las Vegas Boulevard when the lineup's out the door.  Some aren't polite in the gas line in Phoenix when it's 110F. Some aren't polite when there's a serious social stressor like airport security. Some people push, some people cut in line or drive right in front of you without a care.  And some keep talking on their cell phone oblivious to everyone else that doesn't matter then stand right in front of you at the mall map. Some people use their cell phone through a whole movie.

I have to be honest, there are lots of Canadians that would do the same thing.

I said,"Well because as subjects of the British Empire, we didn't forget that manners are the grease of civilization. That's part of the European ethos (I didn't say ethos I said way but that's what I meant I just didn't want to sound too know-it-all). We need to be polite because that's how we survive rough situations. "

Bad manners are a short term win with possible long term consequences.  Good manners are a short term loss with possible long term consequences.  Either way you will be remembered and may not find out until too late what those consequences are.

My point is this: while people can maintain the air of grace when things are easy it's when things get harder that people should maintain their manners most, because that's when stressors can make good people do bad things.  Things they will regret when they are calmer.

When the lineup is the worst, you should prepare to give way to someone else more than when it's empty. Even if they are thoughtless, even if they are rude.  That is the key to keeping society functional.

The more people to adopt this philosophy will create a societal habit and hopefully defuse more tense situations and increase happiness. If you are an enlightened civilized atheist, a  Buddhist, or even a Christian that should be your goal.